Boyfriend.

Hi babe... Do you remember this? I mean, how could you not. This was on the first day, the first day I was willing to start a new foundation with you, and only you... You were packed with lots of personality and weed. I already knew we had chemistry. And we both knew we could make each other as happy as we possibly can. Why? Because we love each other. With all our tiny little hearts. I knew if I loved you, it would be my job and duty to make you happy as you possibly can. From that day on, you have always made me happy... I just hope I make you happy as you can be. I try my best and hardest everyday, and I honestly think I'm not doing the best as I can. Everything that has been happening is really getting to both of us... If trying harder is what it's going to take then that is NO problem. I just hope I'm doing what I can to make you happy. I've never felt so shut down. But that doesn't mean I'll give up. It means I'm going to try harder. I just want to make you as happy as you can be. You probably hate my guts. How did this happen? From the beginning we loved each other so much. I still love you with all my heart. I do make it seem as if I do too, because I always watch my actions with you. I'm ashamed of myself. I wasn't doing what I could to make you happy. That's on me. I understand if you're tired of me. I am a handful to you. But in all of this honestly, it just brings me back to that first day. Where I was best at making you happy. When I was worth seeing. I guess I'm not as good as I used to be... I wish I could be the best at making you happy. But I guess that isn't me anymore... Getting older is part of life, so is changing. I really feel as if I'm changing into someone I shouldn't. I still try to make you happy and you say I can. But do I make you as happy as that first day? The first day we knew it was our job and duty to make each other as happy as we could be. We've been through so much. We learn, move on and gain more happiness. Why does it feel as if the happiness you give me, isn't the happiness I give in return. For what you deserve. I love you so much Ryan Fu, I want to make you as eager to see me as I am to see you. I come to you to express who I really am... I wish you could express yourself without the doubts. Without the yelling. Without the profanity. Without the fighting and arguing. I want to make you as happy as you were on that first day. I'm not going to believe that I can't, because I believe I can do it. I also believe that we can make each other as happy we were on that first day. Do you? These 8 months have gone by fast. You could have changed your mind because you know who I really am now. I haven't changed my mind, because everyday when I see you, I see the man of my dreams. The man I love. The man who took me into his arms when I was sick. The man who brought me lunch at school when I forgot my lunch money. The man who was there. To love and appreciate. I hope everything we've been through hasn't changed your mind, because it will never change mine.

I will never let go, I will always be the one to fit into your arms and I will always be the only one getting the most butterflies.

I love you Ryan Fu.